So, as you all may have read from a few posts ago, we were trying for a baby and had some bumps along the way. I am thankful every day now that I wrote that blog because I received so many kind and encouraging words from all of my friends and family and I was also contacted by an old high school friend who was going through the same thing. She encouraged me and gave me some verses that were so inspirational but the most important thing that she said to me was that she kept saying, "Why me?" until finally her husband asked her, "Why not you?" Those words stuck with me and I thought that I am already so blessed and I have faith in God. I know that he has a plan for me and that when it was His will, that my family would grow again. So yes, "Why not me?" After talking with her I didn't take another look at my ovulation strips or try any more crazy methods. I relaxed and put my trust in God that when he was ready, we would receive another blessing. I prayed every day.. for myself and my friend. Well, 4 weeks later, I took a test and almost fainted when I saw those 2 lines.... twice...
I had to take the test because I had written previously about crying uncontrollably and my hormones being out of whack. I cried while taking Harlee to her first concert. Every time I would look at her smiling and singing to The Band Perry, I would tear up again. The next morning I woke up and my breasts were so sore it felt like they were going to fall off (TMI, I know). I went in for pregnancy confirmation and labs last week and then yesterday had an appointment with the best OB doctor out there, Dr. Anderson. Well, when I got there I waited for about 30+ minutes to hear that she had an emergency at the hospital and they asked if I wanted to see another provider. I REALLY wanted to see Dr. A because when I had my miscarriage, she told me that it would all be okay and that I would probably get pregnant again right before Disney.. boy was she right! Either way, I agreed to see another doctor because I was dying to know my baby was okay. I ended up seeing Dr. Tollison and he was so nice! I was crying when he came in because... well... I was just emotional and wanted Dr. Anderson but he really made me feel better. He pulled some strings and got me in at the hospital (the machine at the office was down) the next day so that I could see my baby and put my mind at ease while we were at Disney. I held in my secret for as long as I could (knowing for 4 weeks is a long time :)) and I am so happy to be introducing to you all, Knezevich Baby #3!
Seeing and hearing that little heart beat made me feel like the luckiest Mom on the planet. I am now 8 weeks and 3 days and heading to Disney in 2 short days with my family. We will be heading to Wee See Imaging on December 20th to find out what this baby is. I honestly don't have a preference since I already have 1 of each. I would wait for delivery day to find out, but I have a closet full of boy stuff that I want to get rid of if it's a girl. :) I cannot wait until we get to meet this baby in June! (Due date is June 15). I want to thank ALL of you that encouraged me along the way.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Parental Frustration
So last week, Harlee casually tells me that she needs me to sign her progress reports. She had 3 in a row that she had not given us and I was under the assumption that maybe they just got interims every quarter like she did last year. That is not the case. The progress reports revealed to us that Harlee had not been paying attention in class and was rushing through her tests. I know that she knew the material, because she always got them right with her homework and if it wasn't right, I showed her the right way to do it. There were a few 100's and 90 somethings, but there were also some 20s!! 50s!! and 60s!! Not Harlee!! Yes, Harlee. I couldn't believe my eyes. The worst part was, that she even forged my initials (CK) on one of the reports and gave it to her teacher. It was in pencil and looked like something I would have written blindfolded and with my left hand. Chris wrote a note on the progress report that he signed and the teacher called him back. He wanted to know why she got "Terrific Kid" just a few weeks ago if this was happening. Apparently, they do those a few weeks in advance. Also, she said that Harlee was lacking focus, not paying attention, and even putting her head on the desk a lot.
Our solution - We immediately told Harlee she was on restriction for 1 week. No TV, no electronics, nothing. I think the worst thing for her is that we changed her bedtime. She used to get to go to bed at 9. Only because we never had any issues waking her up in the morning and she always did well in school. Now, her new bedtime is 8. That means at 7:30 she takes her shower, brushes her teeth and goes straight to bed. We also told her that TV on school nights (after restriction) would be limited to 30 minutes, max. The rest of her time after school would be spent doing homework, her chores, studying and reading (and playing in her room with her dolls or whatever else after all the rest of the things were done). So we got her progress report yesterday, all As and Bs and 1 C. We told her that the C was not acceptable, even though it was an improvement, but that we expected all As and Bs in the future.
Now on to Jaxon... He has been sleeping in his own bed for a while now, but he comes in to our room every night around 3am. I don't want to keep him locked in his room so that he cries when he wakes up in the middle of the night and might be too scared to sleep in his room the next night, but it really affects our sleep even if it is only 3 hours of it. This is an issue that needs to be fixed quickly before baby #3 arrives in June! :)
Our solution - We immediately told Harlee she was on restriction for 1 week. No TV, no electronics, nothing. I think the worst thing for her is that we changed her bedtime. She used to get to go to bed at 9. Only because we never had any issues waking her up in the morning and she always did well in school. Now, her new bedtime is 8. That means at 7:30 she takes her shower, brushes her teeth and goes straight to bed. We also told her that TV on school nights (after restriction) would be limited to 30 minutes, max. The rest of her time after school would be spent doing homework, her chores, studying and reading (and playing in her room with her dolls or whatever else after all the rest of the things were done). So we got her progress report yesterday, all As and Bs and 1 C. We told her that the C was not acceptable, even though it was an improvement, but that we expected all As and Bs in the future.
Now on to Jaxon... He has been sleeping in his own bed for a while now, but he comes in to our room every night around 3am. I don't want to keep him locked in his room so that he cries when he wakes up in the middle of the night and might be too scared to sleep in his room the next night, but it really affects our sleep even if it is only 3 hours of it. This is an issue that needs to be fixed quickly before baby #3 arrives in June! :)
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Grandmothers & Make Ahead Meals
I was blessed with 2 excellent grandmothers as a child. My Nana passed away when I was only 5, but I remember so much about her for only knowing her such a short time. She was the definition of what a grandmother should be, both of my grandmothers were. My other grandmother (my Dad's Mom) is still with us and I feel so incredibly blessed. I grew up with a grandmother who spoiled, knew the meaning of fun, and most importantly, loved. She always knew how to make us feel better and if Belk was open, we were there. As a teenager, my grandmother was my best friend. She was there when I thought I was being mistreated by my parents (hehe) and I even lived with her for a few years during and after high school. We did a lot together and I will always cherish those days. As with everyone, life happened. I grew older, got married and now have children of my own and I don't get to see my grandmother nearly as much as I want to and for a time, I didn't see her nearly as much as I should but lately we have been spending a few days together here and there and I can't explain how much I have enjoyed it (and hope that she has, as well).
She called me last week and asked when I would be doing my "Cooking thing for the month" again. I told her that I would be working on it this week, and yesterday she came over to help me. Seriously, it made things so much easier! She did all the stuff that I hate doing (washing the chicken, washing & cutting vegetables, LOTS AND LOTS of prepping). Side Note: My grandmother is legally blind. She can see a little, but not very well. It is amazing how she measures, cuts and does so many other things purely from habit. She is AN AMAZING cook and I am so blessed to have had her in my kitchen helping me.
(I used spinach instead of kale, though.)
She called me last week and asked when I would be doing my "Cooking thing for the month" again. I told her that I would be working on it this week, and yesterday she came over to help me. Seriously, it made things so much easier! She did all the stuff that I hate doing (washing the chicken, washing & cutting vegetables, LOTS AND LOTS of prepping). Side Note: My grandmother is legally blind. She can see a little, but not very well. It is amazing how she measures, cuts and does so many other things purely from habit. She is AN AMAZING cook and I am so blessed to have had her in my kitchen helping me.
She also helped me with Jaxon.. who was very hyper during our time in the kitchen.
Oh and my favorite dish from this months was Copy Cat Zuppa Toscana from Olive Garden. It was DELISH!!
(I used spinach instead of kale, though.)
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Crazy Hormones & Being a "Soccer Mom"
So, since having Jaxon (3 years ago), sometimes I feel like a hormonal basket case! I mean the smallest things set me off and I find myself just tearing up for odd reasons. My husband says it best when he says, "You are a MESS." Haha, lovingly of course. One of my biggest fears in life is that something will happen to my kids or to me and I won't be able to watch them grow and meet my grandchildren, and so on. (Something happening to Chris is also a fear, obviously). I think it is "survivor's guilt. Since I have lost both my brother and sister, I have this nagging feeling sometimes that there must be something wrong with me. I go to the doctor for dizziness and prepare myself for a cancer diagnosis. I mean.. I seriously do this.
Either way, every time I go to a dance recital of Harlee's, I tear up for no reason. Even when I am watching performances that she is not in, I tear up just watching the little girls dance. When Jaxon went for his first day of 3K, I teared up (which is more normal I think). But then, last night I was at Harlee's soccer practice. This is something that I do twice a week and then a game on Fridays. Nothing new. But last night was different. I was watching as she helped her team win a "soccer relay race" and when she was 2 people away from her "running & dribbling the ball" bit, my heart started racing and I became instantly nervous for her. I wanted her to nail it, I didn't want her team to be upset with her, I wanted her to be proud of herself as much as I was already proud of her. It was her turn. The ball was passed to her and she dribbled it right down the field, around the cone, back to the front of the line, picked the ball up and handed it over her head to the next in line. Just.Like.She.Was.Supposed.To. Then the waterworks. I was so happy, so proud... so excited that I couldn't hold them back. It wasn't a loud cry. In fact, I didn't make a sound, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I might add, that earlier that day, she won an award at school for being "Terrific Kid" which is an honor she gets quite often.
Tomorrow, we are going to her first concert to see one of her favorite bands - The Band Perry. I cannot wait and cannot think of a more deserving 7 year old. Sure, she is not perfect. She talks back sometimes, whines sometimes and complains when she has to do her chores.. But I think that comes with being a 7 year old girl. I know God has big plans for Harlee and I can't wait to see what they are!
Either way, every time I go to a dance recital of Harlee's, I tear up for no reason. Even when I am watching performances that she is not in, I tear up just watching the little girls dance. When Jaxon went for his first day of 3K, I teared up (which is more normal I think). But then, last night I was at Harlee's soccer practice. This is something that I do twice a week and then a game on Fridays. Nothing new. But last night was different. I was watching as she helped her team win a "soccer relay race" and when she was 2 people away from her "running & dribbling the ball" bit, my heart started racing and I became instantly nervous for her. I wanted her to nail it, I didn't want her team to be upset with her, I wanted her to be proud of herself as much as I was already proud of her. It was her turn. The ball was passed to her and she dribbled it right down the field, around the cone, back to the front of the line, picked the ball up and handed it over her head to the next in line. Just.Like.She.Was.Supposed.To. Then the waterworks. I was so happy, so proud... so excited that I couldn't hold them back. It wasn't a loud cry. In fact, I didn't make a sound, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I might add, that earlier that day, she won an award at school for being "Terrific Kid" which is an honor she gets quite often.
Tomorrow, we are going to her first concert to see one of her favorite bands - The Band Perry. I cannot wait and cannot think of a more deserving 7 year old. Sure, she is not perfect. She talks back sometimes, whines sometimes and complains when she has to do her chores.. But I think that comes with being a 7 year old girl. I know God has big plans for Harlee and I can't wait to see what they are!
Monday, October 7, 2013
"Rigatoni Stuff" - A Childhood Favorite
When my sister and I were little, my Mom made this dish (often) that we lovingly referred to as "Rigatoni Stuff." We loved it and to this day I still love it and consider it to be one of my favorite "comfort foods." When Mom would ask us what we wanted to have for our birthday dinners, and even birthday parties, "Rigatoni Stuff" was most often the answer.
I love to cook and usually can create pretty good, complex dishes that "Make you wanna slap your Momma!" However, sometimes simple is the best route, especially with small kids. When I make this dish, I get a very similar reaction from my kids and I find it to be so... special. I mean, traditions are great, even if it's a simple food dish. I wanted to share this dish because it is so simple and a family favorite.
Here's what you will need:
1 box of rigatoni noodes (cooked as directed on box)
1 pack of Johnsonville SWEET ITALIAN brats.
1 large jar of Ragu SUPER CHUNKY MUSHROOM
1-2 cups of shredded Mozzarella (we use 2 because we LOVE cheese!)
Steps (SO FAST & EASY)
1. Cook the noodles as directed on the box.
2. Slice brats and cook in a pan over med/high heat until browned.
3. Mix sauce and sausage with cooked noodles in a 9x13 baking dish.
4. Cover with mozzarella cheese.
5. Bake at 425° about 15-20 minutes (until cheese is nice and melted.
This is also a good "Make Ahead Meal." Simply follow steps 2-3, only instead of putting it in a baking dish, you put it in a freezer bag. Freeze. When ready to cook it, Make the noodles, mix sauce and sausage from freezer bag with the cooked noodles in a baking dish, top with cheese, bake, and VOILA!
I love to cook and usually can create pretty good, complex dishes that "Make you wanna slap your Momma!" However, sometimes simple is the best route, especially with small kids. When I make this dish, I get a very similar reaction from my kids and I find it to be so... special. I mean, traditions are great, even if it's a simple food dish. I wanted to share this dish because it is so simple and a family favorite.
Here's what you will need:
1 box of rigatoni noodes (cooked as directed on box)
1 pack of Johnsonville SWEET ITALIAN brats.
1 large jar of Ragu SUPER CHUNKY MUSHROOM
1-2 cups of shredded Mozzarella (we use 2 because we LOVE cheese!)
Steps (SO FAST & EASY)
1. Cook the noodles as directed on the box.
2. Slice brats and cook in a pan over med/high heat until browned.
3. Mix sauce and sausage with cooked noodles in a 9x13 baking dish.
4. Cover with mozzarella cheese.
5. Bake at 425° about 15-20 minutes (until cheese is nice and melted.
This is also a good "Make Ahead Meal." Simply follow steps 2-3, only instead of putting it in a baking dish, you put it in a freezer bag. Freeze. When ready to cook it, Make the noodles, mix sauce and sausage from freezer bag with the cooked noodles in a baking dish, top with cheese, bake, and VOILA!
Look at the Cheesy Deliciousness!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Anxiously Preparing for Disney
In 34 more days, my family will be heading to Orlando, FL. Chris and I have been to Disney World before, but our children have not and this will be our first time going together AND our first time as parents. Harlee is 7 and Jaxon is 3 and since we are hoping for another child, it was important for us to take Harlee before she got "too old" for princesses, to take Jaxon while he is still so completely Toy Story obsessed and to go before we one day (hopefully) welcome another life into our family. I am excited, to say the least. My husband told Harlee & Jaxon, "Ya'll better watch out when we get there, Mom might run you over!" :) I admit, I am still a kid at heart... probably always will be. Well yesterday, our luggage tags and a package of vouchers arrived and I think I am in double overtime excitement!
Either way, as I mentioned earlier, this is my first time going as an adult... and a parent. That means that this is the first time I have had to prepare, pack, FOOT THE BILL (that hurt!) and make the experience as fun and memorable as I can from start to finish for my kids. In the Knezevich Family, we try to do a fun family craft or activity once a week. Sometimes it's baking and sometimes it is actually getting crafty but for Disney, our craft took us a grand total of 4 evenings. Harlee kept asking "How many more days until Disney?" and Jaxon kept asking, "Are we going to Pizza Planet today?" So I decided it might be fun to make a paper chain to count down the days to Disney. Well, of course, we couldn't do any ordinary chain, so at the 54 day countdown mark we started working on the "50 Days Until Disney Countdown Chain." I cut 50 strips and we drew on each strip a theme from our favorite Disney movies. I have to take a minute to brag on how artistically talented my little family is! (Jaxon being 3 didn't do anything much more than a scribble here and there, but we used a few of his anyway!) :) Anyway, these are a few shots of our chain.
Either way, as I mentioned earlier, this is my first time going as an adult... and a parent. That means that this is the first time I have had to prepare, pack, FOOT THE BILL (that hurt!) and make the experience as fun and memorable as I can from start to finish for my kids. In the Knezevich Family, we try to do a fun family craft or activity once a week. Sometimes it's baking and sometimes it is actually getting crafty but for Disney, our craft took us a grand total of 4 evenings. Harlee kept asking "How many more days until Disney?" and Jaxon kept asking, "Are we going to Pizza Planet today?" So I decided it might be fun to make a paper chain to count down the days to Disney. Well, of course, we couldn't do any ordinary chain, so at the 54 day countdown mark we started working on the "50 Days Until Disney Countdown Chain." I cut 50 strips and we drew on each strip a theme from our favorite Disney movies. I have to take a minute to brag on how artistically talented my little family is! (Jaxon being 3 didn't do anything much more than a scribble here and there, but we used a few of his anyway!) :) Anyway, these are a few shots of our chain.
This last one I had to add in here because it was done by my cousin, Julia. I was showing her during a family gathering what we were doing and she snuck in and added the "Tale As Old As Time" Beauty and the Beast themed one to our pile. She will also be joining us on our first Dinsey trip so it was PERFECT! The crazy thing was, I was working on my Beauty and The Beast themed one when Harlee said, "Hey, where did this one come from??" CRAZY! Thanks Julia! After our trip is over and we have a TON of pictures (I'm sure), we will be creating a family scrapbook of our first Disney trip and we are saving the strips to use as scrapbook decoration. We will have a lot of fun memories of our Disney trip, but I also want to remember the fun (and laughs) that we shared making this chain. Speaking of laughs, one of them was due to my lumpy Mrs. Potts as pictured above! :)
The kids and I are also creating a rubbermaid bin (slightly bigger than the shoe box sized ones) that we are dubbing our "Travel Box." We will pack coloring books, crayons, DSi & games, kindle etc. We have a rule that if it doesn't fit in the box, it doesn't go! I am going to paint the top with chalkboard paint and pack a little bit of chalk so the kids can play tic tac toe on top or something like that! Victor (my 7 year old brother in law) will also be going with us, so that will be good for him and Harlee. Anyone out there have anymore advice or tips for us? We are going November 7-11. We have already made all hotel and dining reservations. We will be spending 2 days at Magic Kingdom & 1 day at Hollywood Studios.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Parenting.. what a TRIP!
Everyone has them. Those moments of instant embarrassment, annoyance, disappointment, shock.... purely wondering if you really know what you are doing as a parent. Or wondering why despite the consequences and punishments that you set in place, your child insists on defying you.
These embarrassing moments never really happened with Harlee. She was an extremely good baby and toddler. Jaxon on the other hand.. Jaxon has peed in public, right in the middle of speaking with a [pet] adoption counselor outside in the kennel area in front of about 10 other customers. I mean, pants down, right there on the sidewalk. He has peed at the beach right next to a little girl building a sandcastle (talk about humiliating). He has ran around a movie theater, eating candy off the floor, asked to go to the bathroom 5 times, and laughing at the top of his lungs to parts that were.. well... not funny. Don't get me started on Jaxon's imaginary "brother." His "brother" gets him in to a lot of trouble. We were at the grocery store a few weeks ago and I was trying to put Jaxon in the seat of the "buggy" and he completely spread eagled on me. Legs stretched as far as they could go, screaming to the top of his lungs. I was red with embarrassment and then this little old woman walks up and says, " you have to listen to your mommy and be a good boy and sit down in that buggy." Jaxon responds with yelling, "I can't!!! My brother is sitting there!" Oh geez.. everyone thinks I am crazy now. I seriously could go on.
But then, there are those moments where they have done something that they were not supposed to do... but you just can't be mad. As part of our excellent parenting, my husband and I slept in last weekend. Truly, we NEVER sleep in.. but my brother in law, Victor (who is 7, by the way) was spending the night. He came in and asked if he and Jaxon could play wii and we agreed. They were getting along, all baby gates were up to keep my curious 3 year old out of areas he shouldn't be in, so we enjoyed about a half hour more of wonderful SLEEP. Well we were awoken by Jaxon coming into our bathroom saying that he needed to wash his hands. I asked why and he said he had "something" on his hands. I jump up, felt around for my glasses and look up to see this:
My guess is that Victor went into the kitchen and left the gate open. Oh yeah moment.. Chris' grandparent bought a cake over for the Carolina game the night before and when I went to see how much he had.. the entire half a cake that was left over from the night before...
Oh well. I just turn on the next episode of Teen Mom and realize, "I'm a pretty damn good Mom, afterall!"
These embarrassing moments never really happened with Harlee. She was an extremely good baby and toddler. Jaxon on the other hand.. Jaxon has peed in public, right in the middle of speaking with a [pet] adoption counselor outside in the kennel area in front of about 10 other customers. I mean, pants down, right there on the sidewalk. He has peed at the beach right next to a little girl building a sandcastle (talk about humiliating). He has ran around a movie theater, eating candy off the floor, asked to go to the bathroom 5 times, and laughing at the top of his lungs to parts that were.. well... not funny. Don't get me started on Jaxon's imaginary "brother." His "brother" gets him in to a lot of trouble. We were at the grocery store a few weeks ago and I was trying to put Jaxon in the seat of the "buggy" and he completely spread eagled on me. Legs stretched as far as they could go, screaming to the top of his lungs. I was red with embarrassment and then this little old woman walks up and says, " you have to listen to your mommy and be a good boy and sit down in that buggy." Jaxon responds with yelling, "I can't!!! My brother is sitting there!" Oh geez.. everyone thinks I am crazy now. I seriously could go on.
But then, there are those moments where they have done something that they were not supposed to do... but you just can't be mad. As part of our excellent parenting, my husband and I slept in last weekend. Truly, we NEVER sleep in.. but my brother in law, Victor (who is 7, by the way) was spending the night. He came in and asked if he and Jaxon could play wii and we agreed. They were getting along, all baby gates were up to keep my curious 3 year old out of areas he shouldn't be in, so we enjoyed about a half hour more of wonderful SLEEP. Well we were awoken by Jaxon coming into our bathroom saying that he needed to wash his hands. I asked why and he said he had "something" on his hands. I jump up, felt around for my glasses and look up to see this:
My guess is that Victor went into the kitchen and left the gate open. Oh yeah moment.. Chris' grandparent bought a cake over for the Carolina game the night before and when I went to see how much he had.. the entire half a cake that was left over from the night before...
Oh well. I just turn on the next episode of Teen Mom and realize, "I'm a pretty damn good Mom, afterall!"
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Another month, Another period
Today I was feeling sorry for myself. I want another baby so badly and every month when the woman's curse shows back up into my life, my heart breaks again. I have created a "secret board" on pinterest with all the fertility tricks and tips and still, it hasn't happened. But I know that God has a plan and eventually it will happen. I just have to be patient. Yes, easier said than done.
I truly believe that I was born to be a mother. When my sister was born (we were a year and 9 months apart), I took on the role immediately. I bossed her, I talked for her, I force-fed her (and almost choked her) I did everything an (almost) 2 year old mom would do. I am very blessed, as I have mentioned before. I have a step-daughter, Harlee, who lives with us and I have my 3 year old son, Jaxon. I always imagined that I would have about 3-4 children and I never imagined it would take so long. It only took us a year to conceive Jaxon, but I felt that was a year longer than I wanted to wait. I prayed, and it happened. I never went back on birth control after Jaxon was born because I knew I wanted to have another (not immediately), but I was afraid to get on birth control for fear that it would make things harder when I was ready. It has been 3 years, we have been ready for 2 and still no baby. I wanted Jaxon to grow up with a sibling close to his age like I was blessed to have for 19 years. I grew up always having a best friend no matter who else was against me. I never went a day without someone to play with and the best part was, she was my age. I know Harlee and Jaxon have each other, but there is a significant age difference and on top of that, they are the opposite sex. There is someone missing in my heart. I long to experience pregnancy and childbirth and all the emotions that go with it again. The first time around I prayed for time to fly because I couldn't wait to meet my son. My childbirth experience was not the way I wanted it to be. There are so many things I want to re-do and most of all, I want to add another piece to the Knezevich family puzzle.
I found out that I was pregnant on a Friday in February after taking a pregnancy test after I got home from work. I was extremely excited. I just knew I was for a month, but didn't take a test because I was always irregular and every time I would take a test, I would just end up heartbroken, but after 3 months with no period, and I was having typical symptoms, I decided to go ahead and take the test. Well, I wish I hadn't. The only positive thing that came out of that test is that at least I knew that getting pregnant again was possible. I took the test and literally started spotting 3 hours later. Then the cramps came. The next morning my grandmother and I drove to the hospital (Chris stayed home with the kids) and we were there for an agonizing 6 hours while they ran every test and did every type of exam.. another mistake.. I should not have gone. They ended up telling me that my pregnancy tests were saying that I was pregnant, but that nothing was showing up on the ultrasound and that I was probably miscarrying.. but in a more roundabout and confusing way. I went home and nothing happened until I was at work Monday. Right before I went in for a meeting with our CFO who was here from Spain, I went the restroom and it happened; I miscarried. WORST.TIMING.EVER. I had to tell our HR manager about it so that I could have a little time to compose myself. I got my act together, gave my presentation, and then went home. My boss would have never made me stay, knowing the situation, but I knew that she was only there for the day and that I needed to suck it up. I think I am having a hard time because if all this had not happened, then I would have another baby in my arms today... (We were placing the due date around the first week of September).
Then there is the guilt that I have.. That guilt when I see posts every day of someone else who is announcing a pregnancy.. most of the times, I am truly ecstatic for them.. but then there are the ones with the "uh-ohs" and "oh-nos" and "I am not ready for this" I feel guilty because I wonder, "why them, and not me?" I am ready, I am prepared, I REALLY want this. Don't get me wrong, every child is a blessing and I hate no one and certainly don't wish ill.. but I can't stop that feeling in my gut that wonders why there are parents out there who yearn for this and have issues with fertility, while others get these blessings and are not even ready for it. Is this normal? Am I crazy?? Surely I am not the only one who has these feelings.
Either way, I was seeking some type of words of comfort this evening. I have a wonderful husband who brought me home some ginger ale (oddly my go-to for everything - sickness, sadness, celebrations, etc) He tries to comfort me as much as possible, because this is something that we both want.. so I found this:
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."
Habakkuk 2:3
These words spoke right to my heart and after an afternoon of crying, comfort from the hubby and a phone call from my Mom, I think I may actually be in for a pretty good night of sleep.
I truly believe that I was born to be a mother. When my sister was born (we were a year and 9 months apart), I took on the role immediately. I bossed her, I talked for her, I force-fed her (and almost choked her) I did everything an (almost) 2 year old mom would do. I am very blessed, as I have mentioned before. I have a step-daughter, Harlee, who lives with us and I have my 3 year old son, Jaxon. I always imagined that I would have about 3-4 children and I never imagined it would take so long. It only took us a year to conceive Jaxon, but I felt that was a year longer than I wanted to wait. I prayed, and it happened. I never went back on birth control after Jaxon was born because I knew I wanted to have another (not immediately), but I was afraid to get on birth control for fear that it would make things harder when I was ready. It has been 3 years, we have been ready for 2 and still no baby. I wanted Jaxon to grow up with a sibling close to his age like I was blessed to have for 19 years. I grew up always having a best friend no matter who else was against me. I never went a day without someone to play with and the best part was, she was my age. I know Harlee and Jaxon have each other, but there is a significant age difference and on top of that, they are the opposite sex. There is someone missing in my heart. I long to experience pregnancy and childbirth and all the emotions that go with it again. The first time around I prayed for time to fly because I couldn't wait to meet my son. My childbirth experience was not the way I wanted it to be. There are so many things I want to re-do and most of all, I want to add another piece to the Knezevich family puzzle.
I found out that I was pregnant on a Friday in February after taking a pregnancy test after I got home from work. I was extremely excited. I just knew I was for a month, but didn't take a test because I was always irregular and every time I would take a test, I would just end up heartbroken, but after 3 months with no period, and I was having typical symptoms, I decided to go ahead and take the test. Well, I wish I hadn't. The only positive thing that came out of that test is that at least I knew that getting pregnant again was possible. I took the test and literally started spotting 3 hours later. Then the cramps came. The next morning my grandmother and I drove to the hospital (Chris stayed home with the kids) and we were there for an agonizing 6 hours while they ran every test and did every type of exam.. another mistake.. I should not have gone. They ended up telling me that my pregnancy tests were saying that I was pregnant, but that nothing was showing up on the ultrasound and that I was probably miscarrying.. but in a more roundabout and confusing way. I went home and nothing happened until I was at work Monday. Right before I went in for a meeting with our CFO who was here from Spain, I went the restroom and it happened; I miscarried. WORST.TIMING.EVER. I had to tell our HR manager about it so that I could have a little time to compose myself. I got my act together, gave my presentation, and then went home. My boss would have never made me stay, knowing the situation, but I knew that she was only there for the day and that I needed to suck it up. I think I am having a hard time because if all this had not happened, then I would have another baby in my arms today... (We were placing the due date around the first week of September).
Then there is the guilt that I have.. That guilt when I see posts every day of someone else who is announcing a pregnancy.. most of the times, I am truly ecstatic for them.. but then there are the ones with the "uh-ohs" and "oh-nos" and "I am not ready for this" I feel guilty because I wonder, "why them, and not me?" I am ready, I am prepared, I REALLY want this. Don't get me wrong, every child is a blessing and I hate no one and certainly don't wish ill.. but I can't stop that feeling in my gut that wonders why there are parents out there who yearn for this and have issues with fertility, while others get these blessings and are not even ready for it. Is this normal? Am I crazy?? Surely I am not the only one who has these feelings.
Either way, I was seeking some type of words of comfort this evening. I have a wonderful husband who brought me home some ginger ale (oddly my go-to for everything - sickness, sadness, celebrations, etc) He tries to comfort me as much as possible, because this is something that we both want.. so I found this:
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."
Habakkuk 2:3
These words spoke right to my heart and after an afternoon of crying, comfort from the hubby and a phone call from my Mom, I think I may actually be in for a pretty good night of sleep.
Friday, September 6, 2013
The terrible "L Word"
Whispering the word "lice" at a gathering of children has the same effect of screaming the word "fire" in a building full of people. Everyone scatters... Well, a couple of months ago, Harlee came home from a weekend at her Moms. Her Mom informed me that Harlee had gotten lice from a friend who was spending the night. Lice happens. This is the second time, it happened once a few years back on CHRISTMAS EVE of all times. I remember going to the store and getting the kit and those things are EXPENSIVE and half the time don't work like they should for the money you pay for them. I refused to go that route this time. I went on pinterest and google and I found a combination of home remedies that WORK!
See, the reason that we were still dealing with this every couple of weeks for a few months is because I would do a few treatments and then when I didn't see anymore, I would stop. Well, the nits (eggs) are VERY hard to see and according to several sources, nearly impossible to get rid of. So, what you have to do, is wait for them to hatch, and then it takes 10 days for them to lay more eggs. So for 2 weeks, Harlee has gotten a treatment every 3 days (I can't take any chances this time.) As embarrassing as it can be to talk about, it happens and here is how we have beat them!
Here is what you will need:
Baby Oil
Cheap mouthwash (I use the yellow kind)
Shower cap (I get a pack of 15 for .99 at Wal-Mart)
Dawn Dish Detergent (This is the only thing I have found that will really get the baby oil out)
Distilled Vinegar
Suave COCONUT shampoo
Lice Comb
First, I soaked her head in baby oil and put a cap over her head for about 2 hours. This suffocated the lice and killed them. It makes removing them a lot easier. During the 2 hours, Harlee played wii with Jaxon and colored.
Then, I removed the cap and put a towel in my lap and sat on the floor. She first layed face down so I could start right about her neck. (This area and behind the ears seemed to be their favorite spots) I combed through for an agonizing 45 minutes but I never really got any complaints from her other than the sound of the comb. The baby oil really makes it easy to come through the hair with ease. While we were doing this, Chris went to her room and bagged all of her stuffed animals and washed her bed linens. We also tossed the stuffed animals and baby dolls in the dryer for about 30 minutes on high heat as this is said to kill them as well.
After combing through and removing what I could, it was time to wash her hair out. This is the hard part. I don't know if you have ever soaked your hair in baby oil, but it is very difficult to get out. I have found a method that works beautifully though. First, I put the dawn in Harlee's hair, lathered and rinsed. It will still be a little oily. Then, I re-lathered her hair with Dawn and left it there for about 5 minutes while she played in the tub. During this time, I mixed about 1/4 cup of vinegar & 1/4 a cup of Suave COCONUT shampoo. (It is said that there is something about the coconut shampoo that the lice do not like, so this is also a good preventative measure for after treatment). The vinegar is supposed to help loosen any eggs that were not removed during the process. Once this is done and it has been approximately 5 minutes, rinse out the dawn. Harlee's hair felt like straw after the dawn, because our hair needs some type of oil for moisture, and Dawn is a degreaser. I then put in half of the mixture of shampoo and vinegar, lathered and rinsed. Then I repeated again, but leaving the mixture in for about 3 minutes. Then I rinsed again and her hair felt so soft and looked beautiful when dried!
Cue the mouthwash - the next treatment after 3 days is the mouthwash. This serves the same purpose as the baby oil, it suffocates them in a different way. I do the same as the baby oil. I soak her hair, put the cap on and then let her hang out for a few hours. Then I just have her wash her hair as normal. This just takes care of any that may have newly hatched. I don't really comb during this process. Harlee struggles with psoriasis of the scalp (dandruff) and the mouthwash treatment really clears it up for a few days, which is an added bonus.
Then, I repeat the baby oil in another few days and continue this process for 2-3 weeks. The nurse at her school is trained with lice treatment and has checked her head every few days and there are no signs of lice!
Extra non-treatment things I did:
Called the school and any other parents of children who had been around Harlee for the past few months. If they aren't treated because I was too ashamed to tell them, chances are that Harlee would be getting it again.
I set Harlee up to sleep in the office where we have a pull-out couch. Even though I vacuumed and washed all linens/took care of stuffed animals, etc I didn't want to take any chances. Lice can't survive without a human head, so I didn't want Harlee's head in her room for a while. :) (This was more of paranoia for me, I believe.)
I also wiped down all surfaces with bleach wipes (don't forget car seats, etc).
Lice Prevention
They forgot Coconut, but:
Hope this can help someone else! :)
See, the reason that we were still dealing with this every couple of weeks for a few months is because I would do a few treatments and then when I didn't see anymore, I would stop. Well, the nits (eggs) are VERY hard to see and according to several sources, nearly impossible to get rid of. So, what you have to do, is wait for them to hatch, and then it takes 10 days for them to lay more eggs. So for 2 weeks, Harlee has gotten a treatment every 3 days (I can't take any chances this time.) As embarrassing as it can be to talk about, it happens and here is how we have beat them!
Here is what you will need:
Baby Oil
Cheap mouthwash (I use the yellow kind)
Shower cap (I get a pack of 15 for .99 at Wal-Mart)
Dawn Dish Detergent (This is the only thing I have found that will really get the baby oil out)
Distilled Vinegar
Suave COCONUT shampoo
Lice Comb
First, I soaked her head in baby oil and put a cap over her head for about 2 hours. This suffocated the lice and killed them. It makes removing them a lot easier. During the 2 hours, Harlee played wii with Jaxon and colored.
Then, I removed the cap and put a towel in my lap and sat on the floor. She first layed face down so I could start right about her neck. (This area and behind the ears seemed to be their favorite spots) I combed through for an agonizing 45 minutes but I never really got any complaints from her other than the sound of the comb. The baby oil really makes it easy to come through the hair with ease. While we were doing this, Chris went to her room and bagged all of her stuffed animals and washed her bed linens. We also tossed the stuffed animals and baby dolls in the dryer for about 30 minutes on high heat as this is said to kill them as well.
After combing through and removing what I could, it was time to wash her hair out. This is the hard part. I don't know if you have ever soaked your hair in baby oil, but it is very difficult to get out. I have found a method that works beautifully though. First, I put the dawn in Harlee's hair, lathered and rinsed. It will still be a little oily. Then, I re-lathered her hair with Dawn and left it there for about 5 minutes while she played in the tub. During this time, I mixed about 1/4 cup of vinegar & 1/4 a cup of Suave COCONUT shampoo. (It is said that there is something about the coconut shampoo that the lice do not like, so this is also a good preventative measure for after treatment). The vinegar is supposed to help loosen any eggs that were not removed during the process. Once this is done and it has been approximately 5 minutes, rinse out the dawn. Harlee's hair felt like straw after the dawn, because our hair needs some type of oil for moisture, and Dawn is a degreaser. I then put in half of the mixture of shampoo and vinegar, lathered and rinsed. Then I repeated again, but leaving the mixture in for about 3 minutes. Then I rinsed again and her hair felt so soft and looked beautiful when dried!
Cue the mouthwash - the next treatment after 3 days is the mouthwash. This serves the same purpose as the baby oil, it suffocates them in a different way. I do the same as the baby oil. I soak her hair, put the cap on and then let her hang out for a few hours. Then I just have her wash her hair as normal. This just takes care of any that may have newly hatched. I don't really comb during this process. Harlee struggles with psoriasis of the scalp (dandruff) and the mouthwash treatment really clears it up for a few days, which is an added bonus.
Then, I repeat the baby oil in another few days and continue this process for 2-3 weeks. The nurse at her school is trained with lice treatment and has checked her head every few days and there are no signs of lice!
Extra non-treatment things I did:
Called the school and any other parents of children who had been around Harlee for the past few months. If they aren't treated because I was too ashamed to tell them, chances are that Harlee would be getting it again.
I set Harlee up to sleep in the office where we have a pull-out couch. Even though I vacuumed and washed all linens/took care of stuffed animals, etc I didn't want to take any chances. Lice can't survive without a human head, so I didn't want Harlee's head in her room for a while. :) (This was more of paranoia for me, I believe.)
I also wiped down all surfaces with bleach wipes (don't forget car seats, etc).
Lice Prevention
They forgot Coconut, but:
Hope this can help someone else! :)
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Freezer Friendly/Make Ahead Meals
So, this is something that I have been meaning to sit down and write out for a long time. I have not done so because I knew that it would be very time consuming. Every month, I take a day or 2 to prepare about 30 dinners, lots of lunches and lots of breakfasts to freeze ahead so that I don't have anymore cooking to do for A WHOLE MONTH! Hopefully by the end of this post, you will feel encouraged to do the same. Not only does it save you time, but it saves MONEY! :)
First Step: Choose your recipes.
Let Pinterest be your friend here... I looked up hundreds of recipes and have them saved under my "Freezer Friendly/Make Ahead Meals" file on Pinterest. Each month I will try to update you with the meals that I have chosen for that month so that you will have more recipes along the way from my blog. Here are the recipes that I chose for this month (follow the link). Please note that I change up the recipes as my pantry sees fit. If I can save money substituting items that I already have, I will. Some of these recipes you can double or triple depending on how many you want to make. I think I ended up with around 40 blueberry muffins. :)
Breakfast Burritos
Sausage Pancake Muffins
Bacon Egg Cups - Use same freezer instructions as previous breakfast recipes
Blueberry Cinnamon Muffins - DELISH
Pizza Muffins
Corn Dog Muffins - a favorite for the kids
PB&J - No link, I just make pb&j's and cut/sealed them with my nifty pampered chef tool. I made about 20/25, bagged them individually, put them in a freezer Hefty bag and then stuck them in the freezer.
Lasagna Cups
First Step: Choose your recipes.
Let Pinterest be your friend here... I looked up hundreds of recipes and have them saved under my "Freezer Friendly/Make Ahead Meals" file on Pinterest. Each month I will try to update you with the meals that I have chosen for that month so that you will have more recipes along the way from my blog. Here are the recipes that I chose for this month (follow the link). Please note that I change up the recipes as my pantry sees fit. If I can save money substituting items that I already have, I will. Some of these recipes you can double or triple depending on how many you want to make. I think I ended up with around 40 blueberry muffins. :)
Breakfast Burritos
Sausage Pancake Muffins
Bacon Egg Cups - Use same freezer instructions as previous breakfast recipes
Blueberry Cinnamon Muffins - DELISH
Pizza Muffins
Corn Dog Muffins - a favorite for the kids
PB&J - No link, I just make pb&j's and cut/sealed them with my nifty pampered chef tool. I made about 20/25, bagged them individually, put them in a freezer Hefty bag and then stuck them in the freezer.
Lasagna Cups
Chicken Salad - No link again. I made this truly amazing chicken salad.. it didn't even make it to the freezer. Here is what you will need - Whole Chicken, cooked and shredded -- Half of a green apple, diced small -- Red Grapes, quartered, real bacon bits -- Mayo (as much as desired, I did not measure anything in this recipe -- a few squirts of dijon mustard, real bacon bits, celery salt, salt & pepper, dill seed. I mixed all ingredients together, and voila!
Hawaiin Grilled Chicken - Mix all ingredients (including raw chicken) in a freezer hefty bag (do not use cheap brands, trust me) and then freeze. Thaw when ready to prepare and then prepare as instructed.
Sweet & Sticky Chicken - not sure what ponzu sauce is.. I just used soy..
Buttermilk Herb Chicken - this link also features lots of other freezer friendly meals.
Taco Soup - Another family favorite
"Rigatoni Stuff" - This has no link. This was a meal my mom made for my sister and I that we loved. It is so simple and a favorite for my kids as well. All you do is cook & slice a pack of sweet italian sausage. Mix it with Ragu - Super Chunky Mushroom Sauce (Big Jar). Put in freezer bag and freeze. When ready to prepare, thaw sauce for an hour or 2, boil noodles, mix noodles with sauce in casserole dish, top with mozzrella cheese and bake @ 400° for about 20-30 mins. EASY PEASY & yummy!
Cafe Rio Crockpot Chicken/Spaghetti Sauce - I make my own spaghetti sauce, but for those who want something new, there is one on here as well.
Spinach Stuffed Chicken w/ Bacon - YUMM!
Italian porkchops - Porkchops with italian dressing, in a freezer bag, freeze. Thaw, cook at 375° for 20 or so minutes.
BBQ porkchops - Porkchops with bbq sauce. Same as above.
Chicken Tortilla Soup - family favorite. I don't do this one in the crockpot, it's too easy to thaw and then boil and warm. :)
I also made LOTS of sides using red potatoes and/or broccoli. Get some lipton onion soup mix and follow the recipe on the side (but put the potatoes in a freezer bag before baking) for a great side!
Create A Grocery List
I made my own grocery list in excel, but here is a good worksheet for creating a grocery list:
Once you have created your grocery list, map out where you want to get your groceries and what/where you may have coupons for. I try to save as much money as possible so I got the specials from Aldi, Food Lion, and Bi-Lo. I stuck to only what was on my list other than a few things here and there that had a REALLY good sale or I had a coupon for.
Start Cooking!
I always create the meals first that don't require cooking (which are mostly all the chicken/porkchop ones) So easy, just dump in a bag and then freeze. Then I do the breakfasts, then lunches, then dinners and sides.
Tips
Describe the meal & instructions on the bag so that your spouse will know how to prepare it as well.
Stack your meals on a baking sheet when freezing. This will keep them from forming around the wires in your freezer and getting stuck. (Learned this the hard way).
Involve your kids. My 3 year old son wasn't much of a help, but my 7 year old daughter loved helping! She sprinkled.. cheeses, toppings, etc.
Always set the bag up in some type of bowl. This will help hold it open so you can pour in ingredients without a huge mess if you make a mistake.
This is the amazing outcome:
And this is the delicious spinach and bacon stuffed chicken with a side of roasted red potatoes that were seasoned with rosemary, thyme, oregano, salt & pepper and lemon juice.
I hope this helps anyone out there who was as lost as I was when first starting this! :)
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